Maybe in Another Life: Football Players’ Alternate Careers Solely Based on Looks
- Jani Burden
- Apr 8
- 3 min read
Being a professional football player is a full-time job that requires a certain type of person. Someone who is dedicated to the game, someone who is willing to sacrifice their time and body to win and someone who has relentless determination. This means they may not have as much time to check out some other endeavors they may excel at. In this article, we’re going to take a look at some of these athletes and explore what they would take on if football wasn’t their world.
Jason Kelce: Lumberjack
In another life (or maybe even later in this one), Jason Kelce would be the lumberjack of all lumberjacks. Not only is he strong, but his rugged appearance also adds to the Paul-Bunyon-like persona. Forget snapping the football, his time would be spent snapping tree trunks into toothpicks. His beard and stature lead us to think, at first glance, he may be a bit of a burly guy, but he's proven time and time again that he’s a loving family man. I don’t think we’ll ever get to see him pursue this.
Joe Burrow: Model
You’ll all be pleased to know that this dream has already become a reality. Burrow modeled in Paris Fashion Week in 2024 where he strutted down the runway with one of his past teammates, Justin Jefferson. If the whole football thing doesn’t work out, he could definitely take this gig full time. “Joe Cool” isn’t just a nickname, but it refers to his effortless swagger and dapper style. Between his sharp jawline and that “cool guy” stare, he’s basically the Tom Brady of modeling. This man shows up to every game in his fanciest fashion, wearing fur coats, Cartier sunglasses and just the right amount of cockiness. Maybe it was all a scam and he got really good at football so he could eventually pursue his career in modeling (I sure hope so).
Josh Allen: Lifeguard
Considering Buffalo only gets maybe 3 weeks of summer, this may come as a shock to you, but here's my reasoning. Since he’s a quarterback, he's got a cannon of an arm which would be great for hurling the buoy out to the damsel (or dude) in distress. I’m picturing the Baywatch scene where everyone’s running in slow motion and I'm pretty sure Allen’s 6 '5 frame and chiseled face would let him fit right in.
Baker Mayfield: Build-A-Bear Workshop
This one may seem a little far-fetched, but you can’t possibly look at the photo of him and tell me I'm wrong. He is such a good hype man to his teammates and has been since his college days. This would translate great into his work at Build-A-Bear. He would, no doubt, make sure every kid walked out with the best possible teddy bear they’ve ever seen. In football, he has a very underdog, chip-on-his-shoulder energy and I think that he’d make sure no stuffed animal left the store without maximum pimpage, making this the perfect alternate role for him.
Christian McCaffrey: Bounty Hunter
Christian McCaffrey plays every snap like it's life or death, pushing through the other team's defense like there's a big check for him on the other side. In football, he gets paid no matter what—but that doesn't stop him from putting his body on the line for every play. Now, imagine if the stakes were even higher. Picture his paycheck depended on tracking down a fugitive. There’s no guaranteed contract or signing bonus— just the relentless chase. McCaffrey’s speed and determination would make him the bounty hunter. The kind that makes fugitives turn themselves in just to avoid the inevitable.
While we may never actually get to see Jason Kelce chop some wood or Baker Mayfield make a stuffed bear, it sure is fun to imagine. Who knows, maybe they’ll see this and decide to give it a go. But I wouldn’t worry too much about losing your favorite player because these athletes are as devoted to football as they come.
Edited by Taylor N. Hall
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